# What The Fuck! Dealing With Growing Pains in The Constriction of Everyday Bullshit

What a fuckin' day! 

I came across a quote by Arthur Ashe: 
> "Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can."

I can't think of any better way to describe living when surrounded by shit that just doesn't concern me. I feel like I am the only one. [I wrote a poem a few years ago.](https://donnasjournaling.blogspot.com/2017/08/patterns.html)

![Screenshot 2022-11-01 11.25.00 PM.png](https://cdn.hashnode.com/res/hashnode/image/upload/v1667359866176/3V1lPpXaY.png align="left")

The best way seems to be inside and deeper,  I am attempting to stay focused on my goals and getting an understanding of the information I am learning. Sometimes I need a bit of a reprieve.

But the current choices of activity make me choose to keep my nose to the grindstone. I am not trying to avoid life, but looking outside of myself feels like pillaging through a pile of trash some days. 

Some of the folks around me are literally making me physically ill and I am fast becoming my own best friend because finding constructive conversation seems ridiculous most times. Is this a sign of growth? Am I the one that's fucked up? 

The space seemed too small and confined today, I love the days of serendipity, how priceless to connect! 

I am not quitting, I just have to figure shit out and keep plugging away at the task at hand. Lord help me!

![pexels-koolshooters-7674291.jpg](https://cdn.hashnode.com/res/hashnode/image/upload/v1667363077556/F6PudjAei.jpg align="left")

Anyway, with these words, I bid you...

Good night