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Overcoming My Own Self Concept of Being a Loser
These are the raw confessions of the growing pains I experience as I learn software engineering. I am learning on my own but with lots of priceless resources online. You'll hear about these resources in my articles. Please pray for me!
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Life tests me by surrounding me with unpleasant circumstances. Notice I used the word surround, I don't have to participate. Yet the richness and multiple textures of being are the interactions I assume I need to prepare me for where my current endeavors will place me. I guess... ye There was a time when all this noise would have me sobbing. Wondering why people were so mean. Now I am looking for solutions within myself. In other words, if I am experiencing what I PERCEIVE to be less than the best conditions, what do I need to do to make me better?
I don't want to control others, because I am more concerned with controlling myself. I don't want to waste my time getting angry with circumstances that appear to be unfair.
I guess I want to use this time to cultivate a better me. Really assess myself and figure out what the fuck is up with life. Figure out how this shit really works and ride this muthafucka' out.
I experienced something I never felt before. In the midst of feeling the minor sting of what I perceived as injustice, I dug deep and kept going.
I've done that before, kept going with my daily mantras to build a better skill set. But this was different, I normally look to my social media motivator for encouragement. But he didn't post, yet somehow his energy burned deep inside of me.
I could hear him pushing me forward, giving me wisdom and believing in my ability to win. So I thought of him and I posted encouraging content, as I normally do, but this time I said...Maybe since he didn't post, maybe he needs me. So I posted encouragement for him.
I actually felt confident and competent. I felt like I was actually good and being and doing good, I don't think I've ever felt that before, or if I have, it's been so long I don't remember. I experienced a minor victory! It was pretty cool.
I think the universe spreads those good vibes in proportion to anyone's willingness to believe and grasp the impossible unseen.
Well, with these words...I bid you,
Good night