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I Can Actually Say the Word Win

Overcoming My Own Self Concept of Being a Loser

Updated
2 min read
I Can Actually Say the Word Win
D

These are the raw confessions of the growing pains I experience as I learn software engineering. I am learning on my own but with lots of priceless resources online. You'll hear about these resources in my articles. Please pray for me!

Life tests me by surrounding me with unpleasant circumstances. Notice I used the word surround, I don't have to participate. Yet the richness and multiple textures of being are the interactions I assume I need to prepare me for where my current endeavors will place me. I guess... ye There was a time when all this noise would have me sobbing. Wondering why people were so mean. Now I am looking for solutions within myself. In other words, if I am experiencing what I PERCEIVE to be less than the best conditions, what do I need to do to make me better?

I don't want to control others, because I am more concerned with controlling myself. I don't want to waste my time getting angry with circumstances that appear to be unfair.

I guess I want to use this time to cultivate a better me. Really assess myself and figure out what the fuck is up with life. Figure out how this shit really works and ride this muthafucka' out.

A Small Miracle

I experienced something I never felt before. In the midst of feeling the minor sting of what I perceived as injustice, I dug deep and kept going.

I've done that before, kept going with my daily mantras to build a better skill set. But this was different, I normally look to my social media motivator for encouragement. But he didn't post, yet somehow his energy burned deep inside of me.

I could hear him pushing me forward, giving me wisdom and believing in my ability to win. So I thought of him and I posted encouraging content, as I normally do, but this time I said...Maybe since he didn't post, maybe he needs me. So I posted encouragement for him.

I actually felt confident and competent. I felt like I was actually good and being and doing good, I don't think I've ever felt that before, or if I have, it's been so long I don't remember. I experienced a minor victory! It was pretty cool.

I think the universe spreads those good vibes in proportion to anyone's willingness to believe and grasp the impossible unseen.

Well, with these words...I bid you,

Good night