Today I persevered.
It's funny how pursuing my dream brings me to a place of being alone, and in this time of being alone, sometimes it seems as if no one gives a fuck about me.
Today I felt as if I was invited to a completion of "I am taking everything you are working for, and the world was pretending I didn't exist. No one told me the rules of this game and the ones that seem to play the hardest for what "supposedly" belongs to me, use techniques that are in opposition to my energy and approach to life.
I used to get angry when these times wanted my attention, and I ain't gon' lie, sometimes I still do. But recently I find myself more curious. "Why the fuck do people find interacting with me in this way beneficial?"
At this point in my life, I am not looking to prove anything. It's not important to outdo someone for shit I don't even think I possess. Shit if I have it, they for damn sure wouldn't have such easy access(at least this reasoning seems logical to me).
I guess I am more curious about what's attached itself to my life and how I can use it to fuel my coding journey. What do these times mean, I want to understand, not demand. I know it's not about anyone else or what they think, it's about me and how I am going to use this opportunity to grow.
So I persevered and somehow mustered the faith to continue without any signs of anything good and no guarantees of experiencing the results I find appealing.
The beautiful exploration of life.
With these words, I bid you...
Good night